Well I appreciate you coming back to me, and making your position clear.
I personally believe that no matter what the fashions or trends of the day are, there will always be a proportion of men who like small women, and men who like large women. Just as there will always be women who prefer large men and those who prefer slimmer men. I think taste is rather like sexuality and is to a large degree, is built in. I can’t, nor would I wish to, change people’s tastes. The only issue I see is whether people will openly stand by their tastes, especially if it means going against the grain of society. But that’s a question of courage and conviction, and I don’t see how my blog can grow people’s ‘balls’, in that that sense at least.
The area that I have seen progress, and I believe is far more potent and important than acceptance from men, is self acceptance. It was very early on that I was contacted saying that the blog was helping people love themselves, and it’s that mission that keeps me investing time on here. So while I welcome men to participate positively in the blog, they are not my primary target audience at this point.
I’m pleased we can agree on the “dick pic” phenomena, but I think your assessment of what she is saying is possibly a little kneejerk, and definitely oversimplifying the issue. The truth is, there IS a toxic undercurrent in male culture that normalizes forms of harassment, to the point where the perpetrators often don’t even see what they’re doing as harassment. And her point about the prevalence of unsolicited dick pics FAR outweighing instances of solicited dick pics illustrates that very starkly. It clearly isn’t about self esteem as someone posited, or even about sexual gratification. It’s a game of power and control.
Now I think with a sober mind, I’m sure we’d all agree that the proportion of men who engage in this type of sexual aggression is small. But less potent symptoms of this undercurrent pop up much more frequently, and again, I’d assert that most of the time it is subconsciously perpetrated. Which is why I think it is important to tackle the symptoms and causes in a way which brings them to light, so that their effects become conscious and considered.
In the same way that ass grabbing was routinely accepted in the workplace in the 1970’s and assumed, at the time, to be nothing more than a bit of cheeky horseplay.
Would most men like the license to touch any woman at will? Probably.
Is it acceptable? Of course not. And we take that for granted now because as a culture we have tackled it, and realized that our desires are only rights when all parties CONSENT. Through open discussion, physical boundaries have been set. But there is still ground to be covered. And that’s the same process we will need to go through with this ‘dick pic’ phenomena, and many more.
Nowhere did I interpret what she said as accusing all men of harassment. And even if she failed to make that distinction clear, I still think the content of the argument is worth more than the potential for misinterpretation or minor offense - which is why I won’t be censoring the discussion.
Joining the fight to challenge these legitimate gripes is the best way to dissolve the misandry you speak of, not by silencing dissenting voices and returning to the status quo.